We are experiencing technical difficulties....

I apologize profusely that I have not kept up with regular blog posting. The internet connection at my home has gone curiously haywire. Perhaps the cats are conspiring against the electronics so the humans in the house will spend more time petting them?

Anyway, if you have any internet advice, I'd love to hear it. I'll be checking my email every time I go to a coffee shop (with isn't all that often). In the meantime, I guess we'll have to call the repair guy. I promise there will be many more fascinating posts once my connection gets back up and running! Thanks for being patient!

Happy Hanukkah

Today is the first day of Hanukkah! This Jewish holiday marks the anniversary of the reconsicration of the Temple in Jerusalem after it was desecrated by Antiochus IV and his troops. Reportedly, there was only enough oil to light the eternal flame temple for one day, but miraculously the oil lasted for eight days. By the time it ran out, more oil had been made. The event is commemorated by lighting candles, giving gifts, eating good food, and being festive in general, so HAPPY HANUKKAH!

How to Weasel Your Way Out of a Traffic Ticket

The best way to not have to pay a ticket, of course, is to drive perfectly. However, if you do make a mistake and get caught, here's a few tips courtesy of Lauren Z. Asher, traffic law specialist.

First, try to put the officer at ease as he/she approaches your car. For all he/she knows, you could be a homicidal maniac, so turn off your engine and put your hands on the steering wheel where they can be seen. Always play dumb when the officer asks you why you think you were pulled over, this maneuver may be a fishing expedition. Be very friendly and talk the officer up before he/she starts filling out the ticket, and it can't hurt to ask for just a warning. Don't argue if they write you a ticket anyway.

Skymining

A company called Skyonic has come up with the Skymine system. This novel process takes carbon dioxide out of industrial smokestacks and uses waste heat from factories to make ordinary pure baking soda. A pilot version has already been installed at the Big Brown Steam Electric Station in Fairfield, Texas (my grandpa worked there for years, by the way). If the Skymine system gains popularity, it could help to curb global warming by reducing carbon dioxide emissions.

Tammy Faye

Tammy Faye Messner was a woman best known for her garish makeup, but there was more to her than big blonde hair and a painted face. She was one of the few women televangelists, and the only to show tolerance to homosexuals. At a time when little was known and much feared about AIDs, she interviewed people with AIDs on her show and encouraged her followers to pray for them. After her second marraige to a thieving husband failed, her comeback was largely due to her gay following. She was especially popular with drag queens, perhaps because they had the false eyelashes in common?

Sadly, on July 20, 2007, Tammy Faye died of lung cancer after an 11-year battle with the disease. Her son, Jay Bakker, now preaches his own brand of punk gospel with the Revolution Church.

Ha Ha Ha

Whoever said "laughter is the best medicine" was onto something. Laughter is good for the blood vessels, the heart, and the immune system. It can lower blood sugar in diabetics. Laughter can reduce pain. It also works out the muscles of the torso and face. It is estimated that 100 laughs equals 10 minutes on a rowing machine.

Humans are not the only animals that laugh. Chimps, gorillas, orangatans, and bonobos have all been known to laugh. Rats laugh at a pitch higher than the human ear can hear. The hyena is well known for its laughing noises, and it's cousin the dog laughs, too. A dog's laugh sounds a lot like panting.

Space Cadet

For astronauts, space travel can be demanding both mentally and physically. The human body undergoes several changes in zero gravity. As you can imagine, a person's sense of balance would be the first thing to go. This combined with the lack of pressure on any of the muscles is disorienting. Because the muscles are not needed as much, the body atrophies. The bones get weaker, too. The legs in particular get thinner. The heart usually relies on gravity to help pump blood into the legs, and without gravity, the legs get less blood flow. The upper body and head get extra blood, making the face puffy and the veins bulge. Some astronauts get sinus congestion, or they get headaches. The spine lengthens since there is no weight to compress it. This decompression sometimes causes backaches.

Still, it would have to be pretty cool to go into outer space.